An hour before 12, I get into another bloody conversation with a good friend about where my life is headed. He thinks I'm in rebellion, that pragmatism is my excuse. I told him, some things that I fought for before do not matter anymore. I know what matters in life, and just because I talk about some things more than others, doesn't mean they're the only things that occupy my head.
As the conversation closes, Erick hands me a glass of wine. My friend tells me he'll keep me in his prayers.
I go in. Some conversation. Diona sniffs my arm to ensure I don't smell of dog. I set my cellphone timer to 12:00.
The phone beeps. I'm twenty-three. Hugs and greetings. Another good friend calls me up. "Hang on, let me down this bottle."
Three glasses of cheap wine. One can of Mexican beer. I'm not tipsy at all. People come and go. JJ Rosali Manny Javi Austin.
I stayed at Talon Marks a whole extra year for Erick, and with him and with an amazing group of people we rescued and revitalized Cerritos College's student newspaper. Hours before he was accepting awards for Best Designer and MVP. Tonight he is slumped on a chair.
I ask him, "What do we do now?"
He says, "Wing it."
I ask Diona to marry me. She reminds me she already did.
3:50. The dog has puked on the floor. It's time to go. I get shotgun. 710 North.
I think about my bloody conversation with my friend. Wrong turn. 710 South 105 East. I'm singing along to Arcade Fire as we exit.
Bellflower. My mom calls on my cell. Amid the beeping of the low battery signal, I tell her I'm on my way home. With the radio down, I tell Diona and Werner,
"2005 was the best year of my life, and you guys are a part of it."
Werner says his dad is going to kill him, but he's glad he's part of something good. Diona is sober enough to remember what I just said. I'm secretly in love with her, you know.
A song plays on the radio. A children's choir. An acoustic guitar. The noble sound of the French horn.
"Who is this?" I ask.
"The Rolling Stones."
The chorus goes:
"You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you might find
You get what you need"
My birthday song.
Five hours in.
As the conversation closes, Erick hands me a glass of wine. My friend tells me he'll keep me in his prayers.
I go in. Some conversation. Diona sniffs my arm to ensure I don't smell of dog. I set my cellphone timer to 12:00.
The phone beeps. I'm twenty-three. Hugs and greetings. Another good friend calls me up. "Hang on, let me down this bottle."
Three glasses of cheap wine. One can of Mexican beer. I'm not tipsy at all. People come and go. JJ Rosali Manny Javi Austin.
I stayed at Talon Marks a whole extra year for Erick, and with him and with an amazing group of people we rescued and revitalized Cerritos College's student newspaper. Hours before he was accepting awards for Best Designer and MVP. Tonight he is slumped on a chair.
I ask him, "What do we do now?"
He says, "Wing it."
I ask Diona to marry me. She reminds me she already did.
3:50. The dog has puked on the floor. It's time to go. I get shotgun. 710 North.
I think about my bloody conversation with my friend. Wrong turn. 710 South 105 East. I'm singing along to Arcade Fire as we exit.
Bellflower. My mom calls on my cell. Amid the beeping of the low battery signal, I tell her I'm on my way home. With the radio down, I tell Diona and Werner,
"2005 was the best year of my life, and you guys are a part of it."
Werner says his dad is going to kill him, but he's glad he's part of something good. Diona is sober enough to remember what I just said. I'm secretly in love with her, you know.
A song plays on the radio. A children's choir. An acoustic guitar. The noble sound of the French horn.
"Who is this?" I ask.
"The Rolling Stones."
The chorus goes:
"You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you might find
You get what you need"
My birthday song.
Five hours in.